недеља, 29. новембар 2020.

Rehabilitation of Body and Mind

 I thought that I will eternally proud of above-average intelligence and top results of work. Namely, I had been succeeding it until I encountered resistance of low-intelligence people, not to say dullish members of society, whom at first I was resisting, then ignoring until I finally isolated and totally became alone, which led me, couldn't anticipate it previously, to the depression, a sudden decline in memory ability and vision loss.

I referred to doctors who, thanks them to heaven, regain my sight with the help of surgical operation. I persuaded in it immediately upon the return of consciousness. I thought to myself that the whole world is mine and that I'll, using my intelligence, become a lord of my own life, but then followed a titubation, stumbling and at the end total fall. I had to be operated again, then followed waking from anaesthesia, a thread removal and similarly. At the end I left the hospital on a stretcher.

I couldn't reconcile with thing that was happening to me. I, just myself, will have to start from scratch, to begin a rehabilitation in a nearby spa, where I will share a sick room with two crippled immobile old women. After all, I am also immobile person, impossible to do anything using my own body.

I had been suffering defeat after defeat. Firstly I got from the Social Insurance Bureau a decision approving home care and a wheelchair. Twenty five thousand dinars isn't for throwing, but will I can, using them, buy a health? I'll maybe engage a physiotherapist to tighten my muscles, but nothing more.

Then I got a wheelchair, which at first I loathed, then I screamed out loud when I was put onto it. What’s happening to me? Will I ever begin to walk again?

I was led into the park, where a large view spread in front of me, consisted of natural beauty, but also of various crippled and just rehabilitated people. I was somehow happy I could see the outside world. After all, here are a fountain, a pool, a fragrant pine forest and, above all, a fresh air.

Returned into my room, I dedicated to solving crosswords and Sudoku, in order to keep my brain in shape. Becoming tired, I spread my body over the whole bed. My mind and I myself, I finally realized that, are a master of the whole my body. We must started it by join forces. We have so much force and ability. Let’s start from the beginning. At first I will relax my feet, then calves, thighs, my stomach and finally shoulders, a neck and my head.

As I realised that I am a master of my own body, I started giving orders to it. However, as there are obstacles between my head and the effectors, my head needs time to overcome it. I just miss only a patience. But I’ll waiting. I’m closing my eyes, calming myself. Then passed a minute… two… three…

When I looked at my feet again, I noticed slowly moving of my fingers. I just didn't know of joy if to cry or to laugh.

I realized I can by the power of my mind move my body. Here are, today fingers, but perhaps tomorrow the whole leg. Never mind how long time it will need to pass until I stand on my feet and make the first step. I know that day will come. I feel it deeply into a martyred soul.

My body doesn't merit to be immobile. So I’ll use every atom of my strength in order to move it. And then... Then I'll just joy. And my soul won't suffer anymore.